My story…
I wasn’t born in a Christian family and didn't know Jesus for a long time. Everything changed few years ago. Till that time I thought that Christians were stupid people who didn’t think and said prayers from a prayer book. I didn’t understand what that all really meant. Also all religious wars during the history were such a mystery for me. I did attend Religion education when I was a little girl; however, my knowledge of who Jesus is was very poor. He meant to me basically just the little baby from the nativity scenes I could see in churches over Christmas. On the other hand I always knew there had to be something more than Darwin’s theory and had desire to find out.
Being a teenager was quite hard as all my desires to find God were gone. I thought I was the cleverest person in the world who didn’t need anyone. When I was 17 I met my first boyfriend and everything seemed to be clear to me. I thought I would go to university; we would get married, have a great career, and buy a house and a cool car. I was 100% sure I could manage everything on my own and didn’t need any ‘god’.
A few years later my dream collapsed. I met another guy and fell in love with him, very quickly and very strongly – he meant everything to me. However, our love finished as quickly as it started and both of my relationships were gone. I remember that morning I woke up and realised everything I had believed was gone. He was gone and I was still there. Alone. He left and my heart was broken. I lost not only love but dreams, desires, opinions and everything I had believed in. There was nothing left to live for. The easiest thing to do was… leave… leave Prague, Czech Republic, friends and family.
So I did; I left Prague and ran away to London where I worked as an au-pair for a whole year. The first opportunity to meet Christians came few months later when I met my good friend Katka who worked there as an au-pair as well. It was Katka who invited me in to a church in London. She said, “There is going to be a discussion in the church. Would you like to come? There will be ‘gulas’ available as well.” ‘Gulas’ is such a typical Czech meal – something between soup and main course dish which I missed after eight months in London so much. Honestly, the reason I came to that talk which I realised later was an ‘Alfa course’ was ‘gulas’.
I remember the day at the Alfa Course I was sitting on the floor, the sun was shining and I was eating a chocolate cake and in that moment I realised I would love to know God more… To know that Christian God and who that Jesus is? I had no idea of his identity apart from being the baby in nativity scene. And He has done something for me… What? He saved me? How? I didn’t understand but wanted to know Him. The reason I came to the church for another session next week wasn’t ‘gulas’ any more but the desire to know Jesus more.
When I came back to Prague I started going to a church in Prague but I wasn’t Christian, as there were still lots of questions in my heart. Apart from the church the most important people were people from IFES who explained once and once again who Jesus is and what He has done for me. We went through Christianity Explored, talked and became friends. No-one judged and I felt like a member of a family even I wasn’t really Christian that time. They explained and God was slowly changing my heart. I realised I had sinned but I was saved as Jesus paid for me by His death on the cross and I don’t have to do anything more… just follow Him. I realised it can be hard but I made up my mind and have decided, “I want to serve Him.”
Looking back over my life now, I don’t really understand how I managed to live without Jesus. It was hard but I didn’t know it. I have just realised that He is the real reason to be here and serving Him is the only thing which makes any sense. In many things I feel I’m still the same Martina as I was before but I know He is here to change me and help me to serve Him better and support me in whatever situation I’m in. I love Him.
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